The Brown Bottle

When I first arrived as a fresh and eager college freshman I didn't know the restaurant scene at all. There are so many places within walking distance that it can be very overwhelming for people on their first time here. Naturally, people head to the Pedestrian Mall and eye their options. The first place that caught my eye was the Brown Bottle.

It's a little Italian place with low lighting and a kind of intimate atmosphere. Quite a bit has changed since my first visit those many years ago and one of the most glaring was price, but I'll get to that in my breakdown.

Score (based on 5 stars):

Friendliness: ****

Cleanliness: **

Tastiness: ***

Affordable: **

Overall: ***

Friendliness: Of all the things over the years, this is the thing I noticed that had improved the most. While it's still hard to get seated initially (are they understaffed?) the waiter was incredibly nice and welcoming, even took jokes in stride and was very helpful in recommending dishes to people who were indecisive. I think if we had a meaner or grumpier waiter I would have hated this place, he really made it an enjoyable evening.

Cleanliness: It's a little... less than what you'd expect of a place that seems to scream upscale Italian restaurant. It seemed dusty and the low lighting doesn't work for a group of friends wanting to have a fun night (isn't that all of downtown Iowa City?). It wasn't so dirty I was repulsed it just seemed... neglected like no one had eaten there since I was last there. Maybe I'm being spiteful or maybe it was the lack of other people in the restaurant that made it seem desolate.

Tastiness: So here's where the Brown Bottle stood out. It's food was delicious. I ordered the Roast Beef (It was basically a French Dip, even came with Au Jus) that was just the right combination of delicious meat, melty cheese and the Au Jus was flavorful. My friends ordered the Penne with Vodka Sauce and I stole a bite and found they made a good decision too, it had a nice flavorful kick to it and it wasn't too overpowering. They finished their plates so it must have been good enough to keep going.

Affordable: This is where the Brown Bottle has changed a lot since the last time I was there. The prices are rather ridiculous considering the many other eateries you can go to get similarly good tasting food and if you're planning on adding a healthy alternative to your meal, expect to pay more. My bill was about 20 dollars with tip, but honestly it should have been half that. The portions have gone down quite a bit since I was there so you're paying more for a lot less and that's pretty disappointing.

Overall: While the food was tasty and the waiter was nice and welcoming, the joint itself seems more suited to a couple sharing a low lit dinner who don't mind shelling out the extra money when it comes to food and don't mind if there's little justification to the cost. Otherwise take a stroll around and you'll find some other options that will be just as tasty and even more affordable.

Orchard Green

So I realize this is about as belated as a review can be but I feel I must spread the word about this glorious local place that everyone should try. I eat here back in I believe February with my co-workers and roommate. It was a struggle to pick what to eat because everything sounded fabulous. The downside is only that the place is expensive and calls for nicer garb than one would wear to Applebee's, but it's worth every penny.

Score (based on 5 stars):

Friendliness: *****

Cleanliness: *****

Tastiness: *****

Affordable: ***

Overall: ****1/2

Friendliness:

The staff is very professional. They treat you like royalty and while they aren't pouring with 'down-home-Ma-&-Pa' personality, they make you feel like you're eating somewhere other than Iowa City. They were more than happy to keep our drinks flowing and make sure things were going well.

Cleanliness:

This place was spotless and the tables were set perfectly like I imagine my mother wishes I could achieve. Granted I still don't know the purpose of the 8 different forks (Ok, there weren't that many but still...) it looked beautiful, and the atmosphere is not blaring with noise or music, I felt like I rarely overheard other tables.

Tastiness:

After a strong internal debate about how not to order everything, I settled on the Fillet Mignon and tried some of the, I presume, seasonal Lamb stew. My roommate gave their blue cheese salad. Even before the entrees arrived everyone was deeply enjoying their appetizers. They were small but completely satisfying, something hard to achieve these days. When the entrees did arrive it was hard not to ask to sample everyone's varying dishes, it all looked amazing and everyone cleaned their plate. Mine was amazing, I literally could not stop to talk and was slowly eating my food and savoring every bite.

Affordable:

I could say that you pay through the teeth for this but honestly, it's worth it. I still had to dock points because it's not like you could eat there reasonably (and if you can, are you single? Do you want a foster child?). However, if you can, it's absolutely worth it. Entrees run about $20-30 so save up well in advance.

Overall:

I was expecting a snobby upscale place but was pleasantly surprised with the opposite. The menu is short but it's a struggle to choose and for good reason, it's hard to find anything there that isn't delicious (Though picky eaters beware, this might not be for you). I even ate my vegetables, willingly and wished there were more. If nothing is more telling than my last statement I don't know how better to convince you to try this place.